So, how does one become a successful mum ?

This is almost an open ended question that many mothers or mother-to-be will ask.

Here are 10 tips that will serve as guidelines for us parents.

1) Having a support network

Do you often feel lonely trying to cope with taking care of your child? Having a support network can do wonders. Now, i am not talking about having a group of professionals to help you whenever you have a problem. What this can mean is simply having a group of people whom you can trust to help you. The people in your network can be your siblings, babysitters, neighbours, church friends, parents, etc…

2) Taking things easy – Have some fun

Its not funny to see your kid jumping and screaming on his bed. Neither is it amusing to see your kid pull his younger sister’s hair. But the thing is, instead of letting anger overtake us, we should learn to take things easy. Take in few puffs of deep fresh air and then exhale slowly. Go back to your kid and teach them what is right and what is wrong.

3) Learn to take short cuts

Have you ever wonder why household chores are never ending? And shopping for groceries on a weekend is such a dread simply looking at the crowd in the supermarket. Try to identify things that you can do more effectively. Ever thought of doing your shopping at the supermarket early in the morning. Or perhaps making use of the internet to do your bulk groceries purchase. There are a lot of online stores that will send your goods to your doorsteps for free –  if your purchase amount to a certain minimum sum.

4) Take time for yourself

This is not a sin. Mum are good in sacrificing time for our kids. Look at it this way. Wouldn’t it be better if you can be calmer and more tolerant, after spending some time on your own and ‘recharging’ yourself? Burning out in the ‘line of duty’ is not a good idea.

5) Equip yourself to make parenting more effective – Attend parenting classes

Someone once said that if you will give me an hour to chop down at tree, I will spend the first 20 mins sharpening my axe. While this may not be the best story to relate to, especially in regards to parenting, it does tell us that we need to prepare ourselves to make our job as a parent more effectively. Here are some parenting classes you can attend at the comfort of you home.

6) Learning from other mums (dads too)

Every mums (and dads) will have unique experiences to share about their parenting journey. And there are also many common problems and solutions that we can have. Don’t be afraid to ask another parent because of ‘pride issues’. Neither do you need to feel inadequate that someone is better than you in grooming their child. Learn to ask other parents and seek their advice. You will save yourself a lot of learning through the hard way.

7) Learn to accept what you cannot change

Nobody ever told you that your house will be that messy? Hmmm….Becoming a parent will mean that we have to lower our expectation, evaluating our lifestyles, and to change some of our ways – perhaps more ways than we even thought initially! Your house will NOT be as tidy as it used to be, Your expenses will go up, you will have more household chores to make, and the list goes on….Accept that these are facts and tell yourself that whatever that you do, you have your children’s best interest in mind.

Do let feeling of guilt creep into you

This is especially true for working mums. Have you ever felt bad about not spending enough time with your child ? Unable to concentrate at work because that feeling of guilt is creeping up on you ? Whatever you are doing, learn to focus and commit wholeheartedly. When at work, enjoy the time away from the kids and enjoy that lunch break with your colleagues. While at home, you should learn to spend quality time with your kids and not let your work concerns come in between you and your kids.

9) Making love works

Many couple can fall into this trap of not spending quality time with each other once they become parents. And this can be a real challenge and is beyond our “usual” control sometimes. Its time to get back that sparks and make love happen again. Plan time for this while the kids are asleep. If need be, take half a day’s leave and ‘do it’ while your children are at daycare. Be creative!

10) See the real value in your role as a mum (dad as well)

Have you ever wonder why you? I mean why is it that you are a mum to this particular child and not others? It can sound a bit preachy but this is really a question that not many parents ask themselves. Your role is more than just a mother. Being a mum means that you are also the teacher, counselor, housekeeper, and the list goes on. You need to change your mindset and start seeing the real value in being a mum.